All this story needs is for Andre to be a prince-in-disguise

Via ninemsn, your one stop shop for all the news that's too subliterate to print:

One weekend, when Terry and the boys were away on a camping trip, I was at the local hairdressers for my weekly shampoo and blow-dry. I was browsing through one of their magazines and spotted a small, intriguing advertisement: "Discreet male escorts, available for dinners, parties or anything." I quickly checked no one was looking, tore out the advertisement and slipped it into my purse.

That evening, I dialled the advertised number. A deep, sexy male voice answered. He was called Andre. We arranged to meet in an hour at a nearby hotel. He gave me a room number and said he would be there waiting for me.

At the hotel, a gorgeous, dark-haired young man greeted me at the door, elegantly robed in a luxurious, red silk kimono. The room was softly aglow with candlelight, sensual Spanish guitar music played in the background. Andre smiled into my eyes and handed me a glass of chilled pink champagne. He was absolutely gorgeous!

Together we toasted the evening then Andre gently put my glass down on the table, took my hand and led me into an enormous, marble bathroom, where a steaming, bubbling spa bath awaited us. For starters, I was massaged and bathed in exotic scented oils ... and I'll never forget the rest! For one night only, I was a cherished and desirable woman.

I don't know which is funnier; the ridiculous "true" story that ticks all of the Harlequin romance plot point boxes, or the moronic commenters who actually think that any of this is real.

Actually, I do know which is funnier. Yay commenters!

I feel pressure'd

From a GMM member with the subtly evocative handle 'ICUMLOTS':

I'LL MAKE YOUR'E BLOOD PRESSURE RISE!

Indeed you will. Bad spelling does that to me.