Friday, September 5, 2008

Anatomy of a Turnoff



I was idly catching up on GMM earlier, checking out the guys who had checked me out, and I discovered a guy with thirty four profile photos.

I've never come across a guy with thirty four profile photos before. For the record, I have two. Most people have one. Some have as many as ten. Nobody has thirty four. That seems a little overabundant. What, one may well ask, gives?

Perhaps it's just his way of showing his many moods, I thought. Such a large number of photos may give a more rounded impression of his depth as a person. So I started scrolling through them.

#1 - a photo of him posing by the window, looking blithe and contented.
Not much to look at, but not actively hideous either.

#15 - a photo of him standing next to a rainbow flag.
Just in case his presence on GMM wasn't enough of a giveaway regarding his sexuality.

#20 - a photo of him with his Waterford crystal collection.
His alarmingly comprehensive Waterford crystal collection.

#22 - a photo of his genitals, amongst his Waterford crystal collection.
Oooookay. We have confirmation of creepiness. Deactivate the benefitofthedoubterator.

#25 - a photo of his erect genitals, amongst his Waterford crystal collection.
If this goes any further, his cleaning lady is going to get the fright of her life tomorrow morning.

#33 - a photo of him sticking a bunch of roses down the front of his underpants.
I hope they're fake. Not to mention thornless.

Sometimes it's best if people don't get a more rounded impression of your depths straight away.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Wait, was I gay? I can't remember...



I was looking at this guy and wondering what, besides the obvious, was so appealing about him?


It took me a while to realise that he has a shaved head, and we all know how I feel about shaved heads. I'd just forgotten.

What can you say about a man who forgets what his own turn ons are? I am so lame.