With apologies to Norman Bates

I've got a date tonight with a friendly, funny guy I met on GMM, and I just typed out the following email to him:

Hi, I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight. I don't think I'll be late as I'm coming straight from work. Feel free to text me if you run into any problems yourself.

Oh, did I mention that I'd be bringing my mother along tonight? Mother goes with me on all of my dates, to see if she approves of the guy and to make sure that we don't do any of the Devil's Dancing, as she calls it. It's very good of her to take such an interest in my wellbeing, and I'm sure you'll like her - a boy's best friend really is his mother.

Ha ha! I'm such a laugh riot. Content with my work, I pushed the mouse over to click Send, and then suddenly I remembered the most important piece of advice I have ever given to myself:

"DO NOT FREAK OUT POTENTIAL MEN WITH YOUR WEIRDASS SENSE OF HUMOUR!"

This advice is hard won and profound, if I do say so myself. So I deleted that last paragraph. If I like him there'll be plenty of time for him to discover the fathomless depths of my weirdness later.