Working to my strengths isn't working.

I always tend to feel lonlier in the cooler months. It's the long dark evenings, I guess. In addition while the spark of hope ignited by my colleague at work didn't come to anything, it does seem to have reawoken my need for love.

So I've renovated my gaydar profile. I took some photos with my new camera, chose the best one, and after a bit of careful cropping and colour balancing I got a result I liked. I looked good. The structure of the picture makes it stand out, and if I saw it online, amidst the photos of bare decapitated torsos with sucked in stomachs and skinny naked asses, I'd think to myself, "Hey, there's a good looking guy I'd like to get to know."

I tinkered with the text but only barely. It says all that I want it to say, and let's face it, the text is only an adjunct to the picture. The picture is what draws guys in, and it's generally all they need to decide if they're going to contact you or not. In my experience the text only reinforces impressions made by the picture.

I put the revised profile up late on Monday night, then checked in 24 hours later to see if it had generated any interest.

Cue crickets chirping, and the occasional tumbleweed rolling across the pages of gaydar.

Eventually, after spending a few hours online and leaving my virtual footprints everywhere, I got a few twinges of interest. Hey, nice picture, said one. Another gave me the old "I think you're nice" tag. A third engaged me in a brief conversation about our favourite authors, but it didn't particularly go anywhere.

Why was no one interested? The picture made me look attractive, masculine and confident, with a warm smile and a spark in my eye. What else could men want?

I got my answer while browsing some of the other profiles:

Well that explains a lot. How in the hell am I supposed to compete with this?

My attractive, interesting headshots are all very good, but when there's plain photographic evidence of a young man's gymnastic flexibility and spectacular ass available elsewhere, the headshots don't stand a chance. Given the choice between a date with this and a date with my headshot, even I'd go with Bubble Butt Boy. I'm only human.

My ass is never going to look that good. I'd better get used to crickets and tumbleweeds.