Be careful what you wish for

My post of March 12 was about a first date I'd had with a nice guy I met online. I ended the post with a note that we'd agreed to go out on a second date. Well, the second date went ahead, as did the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth and so on.

"Whoo!", you may be thinking. And yes, as far as it goes, Whoo! indeed. But unfortunately it doesn't go very far.

Neither of our hearts seem to be really in it. It's like we're playing at being in a relationship. I don't know why he continues to put up with me, but I suspect it's for the same reason as I put up with him: the alternatives aren't exactly thick on the ground.

Does this happen in straight relationships? I imagine that most women would be sensible enough to have ended things already, or determined enough to just put their heads down and plough on into the respectability of coupledom.

I like him. I find him attractive. But I can go days or even weeks without seeing him and not care. Our emails don't exactly bubble with enthusiasm. We get on well, but we don't click. In all areas - personal priorities, movies, alcohol, travel, kissing, even sex - we don't quite mesh. We function, but it's not easy. At this stage in the relationship, it should be easy. I want to see many of my friends at least every second day, but not my... er... dating partner. If that's what one calls such a person.

So it would seem that we're just keeping each other around in case no one better turns up, because it's better to have someone barely adequate than to have no one at all. It's also fractionally less depressing.