We gays are all about tolerance and diversity

I pulled this out of an otherwise reasonable profile on GMM:

For the remaining person still reading, heres a quick way to see if we would be compatible: If you vote Labor, Democrat, or Green your probably in. If you vote Liberal, CDP, FF or One Nation -I'm probably not interested.

It's nice to see a man with an open mind. He'd probably get along well with another newbie whose tagline reads:

America visiting Perth (I hate George Bush)

Hopefully the two of them can get together, and end up snuggling on the couch before a roaring fire, gazing into each other's eyes and talking wistfully of Bob Brown and Hillary Clinton.

When the stream of consciousness is more of a trickle

There's not much to admire about Soniq, a guy I noticed on GMM, but he is certainly direct. Under "About Myself" he writes:

i am a vergin who want sto be fucked hard by huge cock
fucked hard fucked hard fucked hard hard hard hard hard

It's almost poetry.

With 75% of your daily requirement of folate in every serve!

The tagline from GMM member hellohello6969:

I'm blessed with natural horniness!

And added vitamins!

I suppose it's a refreshing change from all that artificial horniness I've been seeing around the place. You know, from people who claim to be genuinely horny, but really they're just logging on to gaymatchmaker.com.au for the sparkling wit and conversation.

At least he knows how to spell 'horniness'. That's 10 Kudos Points right there.

Another valued member of our team

Professionalism is creeping into many areas of life, even the world of sleazy anonymous gay sex. Witness this tagline from a bloke in Sydney calling himself man-lover on gaymatchmaker.com.au.

i have a profesional ass and am always horny

Note to self: create a Sex CV, then pull an excerpt from it to use as my tagline. Perhaps "I bring a sense of dedication and enthusiasm to every position" or "I am an effective team player".

What is a professional ass, anyway? Is it pin-striped? Is it more efficient than an amateur ass, or does it just get paid more? Is it required to hold to a higher Standard of Practice, or does it just have to be ISO-9000 certified? Does it have an enforcable Code of Ethics? Is it affected by anti-discrimination and equal opportunity legislation?

Personally, I question the professionalism of any ass that doesn't even know how to spell "professional".

Re: Statement of Intent

Why am I starting this blog?

I dunno. I'm in my mid-30s, male, gay and in the closet - way, way back in the closet, so far back that it's snowing and there's a lamp post and I'm rappin' with Mr Tumnus. He says hey. It's quite nice here (Tumnus has a Playstation - woot!) and I'm in no hurry to step out. However, as I get older I feel the need to know more about what being gay means and what it's like for other people.

Before I made my first tentative steps outside my closet, I only knew a couple of gay men on the periphery of my social circle... and they were creeps. The only other gay men I knew were the obligatory gay characters on every groovy sitcom or drama show on TV, and I was beginning to suspect that they weren't really very accurate. Were all gay men really that straight-acting, good-looking and unsleazy?

So I set out to do some research. It turns out that the masculine, admirable sitcom gay from 2007 is about as realistic as the shrieking, feather boa'd sitcom gay from 1977. Thus the average person today is no better informed about what it really means to be gay than he was 30 years ago. All he's getting is the opposite extreme of PR.

But more of that in future entries.

On a lighter note, this blog is also a way for me to chronicle my adventures in that well-spring of unintentional humour, gaymatchmaker.com.au. There's nothing like horniness, desperation, poor communication skills and deep, deep vacuity for a really good laugh.