Do the warning signs say Stop or Give Way?

Over the last couple of weeks I've been chatting to an interesting guy online.

On paper he looks bad. Not Charles Manson bad, but certainly Earl Hickey bad. He's unemployed and not entirely clear about his prospects. His writing suggets an education that sputtered and died somewhere in his mid-teens. He's suffered from depression and been through a range of therapies, from the professional to the quack. I can see that he's created a psychological coping structure to deal with his issues, which is good, but the fact that I can see it is bad: well-adjusted people don't need noticeable coping structures.

So as you can see, getting involved with this guy would seem to be a disaster.

But in spite of all that, he seems like a nice, genuine person, and nice, genuine people are rare in the sleazy and occasionally psychotic world of gay online dating. I get the impression that he needs a sane and sensible friend to be on his side, and it feels good to be able to encourage him and offer advice. In my breezier moments I think that it would be fun and/or interesting to meet him face to face and learn more about his journey. But then when I'm feeling a little more realistic, I wonder if I'm risking one of those toxic relationships that destroy lives. Especially if he turns out to be really hot, and all of my level-headed analysis gets flattened by hormones.

There's the rub, you see. Sometimes loneliness makes us ignore warning signs that would be pretty bloody self-evident if were viewing them objectively.