I see photos like the ones below, taken from All Aussie Beef, and I know my first reaction is supposed to be to swoon over the model's youth and beauty and hotness. But my first reaction isn't that. My first reaction is to laugh.
Standard gay reaction: Ooh, check out those bedroom eyes.
My reaction: Is he smouldering, or has he just been whacked across the back of the head with a cricket bat?
Standard gay reaction: Hmmm... nice.
My reaction: Hello. I got dressed this morning by walking into my closet and jumping around for ten minutes.
Standard gay reaction: Ooh yeah!
My reaction: I see he has just as much trouble undressing as he does dressing.
Standard gay reaction: Oh baby!
My reaction: Grrr! Hulk hate tighty-whiteys! Hulk rip!
And then just when I start to think that maybe I must be straight after all, I see a photo like this:
And I'm so overwhelmed with hopeless, devastating lust that my higher brain functions shut down entirely, and the next thing I know I'm regaining consciousness, my tongue feels kinda dusty and my computer monitor has been licked clean.
So, yeah, I'm totally gay after all. Go figure.
4 comments:
gotta say i'm left cold by the so called hottie and strangely enough it has always been the older butch bloke who has me hyperventilating with lust, throw in some tats and a good smattering of body hair and i'm in heaven, i guess i fit into the other stereotype of lusting after the straight guy
I think I'm in the same boat as you, mykel. I'm sexually attracted to men who act like men, not men who act like women. Given that men who act like men are almost always straight... I'm rather out of luck, aren't I.
Still, there seem to be plenty of gay guys who like the queens, so I guess it's different for everyone.
Men who behave like men everytime!
But sometimes the gym-junkie-flunkies are more queeny than Elizabeth.
Great post!
True, yarravillepaul. If Matt Cooper (the guy in the last pic) flounced up to me and declared my shoes to be fabulous, I'd be turned off faster than a jew at a pork festival, no matter how hot he looked.
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