When high maintenance isn't worth it.

A few nights ago, when I logged onto gaydar to check my messages, I had a brief exchange with a new man. Like Tania Zaetta Man, the subject of my last post, this man's glasses were hideous, but he had a refreshing ability to joke about them, and thus didn't seem like a bad kinda guy.

It still wasn't smooth sailing. He asked to see a "full-on" picture of me, and when I replied that I'm not that sort of boy he clarified that he meant a more obvious face photo. This misunderstanding made things a little awkward, especially when he sent me a "full-on" picture of himself. When, I wonder, will gay men learn that a webcam picture of yourself staring unsmilingly at your monitor is not the most attractive look? Team that with the creepily out-of-date hairstyle (I remember wearing something similar in 1991) and the aforementioned hideous glasses, and you'll understand why I didn't hold much hope for the relationship. When I tired of browsing and exchanging messages with a couple of other people, I simply logged off and went to bed.

The next night, when I logged onto gaydar, there were SEVEN messages waiting for me from Mr Full-on. Begining with a normal statement, then a Why Haven't You Responded?, then Seriously, Why Haven't You Responded?, then Did I Say Something Wrong?, then Is There Something Wrong With Gaydar?, then FINE, BE LIKE THAT, BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE REALLY CONNECTING!, then a Let Me Know If You Change Your Mind.

Sheesh.

I did message him to say that I'd logged off the previous night (which you'd think he'd have noticed) so I didn't receive any of his messages. Then we chatted for a bit before I pointedly excused myself to go do some exercise... and I've avoided gaydar ever since.

Win versus Fail

Here's a little comparison that sums up my current dating life:

Over the weekend, KCG went out and had a beer with a man to whom he'd been talking on gaydar. Despite being from a hardscrabble industrial suburb, this man had a conversational knowledge of Jung's collective consciousness and Nietzche's will to power. He was also, apparently, even hotter in the flesh than he is in his profile pictures... which are pretty damn hot. And he's all of 23 years old.

By contrast, last night I got into my first conversation in weeks with a gaydar man. Bearing in mind that my profile mentions that I have a deep aversion to guys who wear oversized, femme sunglasses, here's a rough idea of how the conversation went:

Him: Hey, read your profile, liked it, check me out and see what you think.

Me: I don't know... the sunglasses might be a bit of an issue... (smiley icon)

Him: Er... you're joking, right? They're perfectly normal sunglasses.

He seemed to be dead serious. At this point it should be noted that in EVERY ONE of his profile pictures he's wearing huge, rimless, smoky brown sunglasses with thick gold arms, making me think that somewhere a trophy wife is searching under the seats of her Mercedes SLK200 and muttering "Where the hell did my sunglasses go?"

Me: Um... yes... just my little attempt at humour... ha ha ha...

And then I quickly logged out before I said anything even stupider.

So while KCG is flirting with a 23 year old philosopher-hunk, I'm getting interest from a 51 year old man with Tania Zaetta's sunglasses.