The internet is no place for pictures of your ass!

In my travels around the internet I've come across an article with the rather self-explanatory title, 'An Open Letter To Men Who Post Pictures Of Their Penis On The Internet From A Man Who Doesn't'.

And good for him, I say! I endorse any man who doesn't post pictures of his penis on the internet. Such men are to be encouraged!

On a similar theme, my own personal pet peeve is men who post pictures of their naked asses on gaymatchmaker.com.au.

I can understand it if they're just looking for meaningless sex, and if their asses are particularly spectacular examples of assdom. In those cases, a picture of their ass sends a pretty straightforward message: "Ass for hire - enquire within".

(Ewww. Sorry.)

But often these arse photos are attached to profiles that claim the guy is seeking "friendship" or a "committed relationship". Frankly, I don't get it. I don't see the connection between "I am looking for my soulmate" and "Here is a picture of my ass". Just imagine it...

Me: Hello, I like cycling, chocolate croissants and French cinema. What about you?

Assman: Well, I'm into swimming, Thai food and POSTING PICTURES OF MY NAKED ASS ON THE INTERNET.

Me: I see.

As if that wasn't bad enough, many of these asses are... well... not worth the bandwidth, to be honest. If the sight of someone's pale, flabby butt cheeks is supposed to make me horny, then I must not be very good at this whole 'gay' thing. What am I supposed to think? "Hey, you have an ass. I have an ass too! We must be meant for each other!"?

So, in conclusion, unless you are a professional underwear model with an ass of sublime perfection, keep it in your pants. Please.