My computer has finally been fixed, and I celebrated last night by playing a few rounds of Doom III, checking a few favourite blogs, and seeing if anyone new and interesting had signed up with GMM.
You know, it's weird, but scanning through gay personals and looking at pictures of hot, half-naked men actually makes me feel better about my complete lack of a love life. When I don't have the internet I can come to feel as if I'm missing out on possibilities. But with the internet, I can see with my own eyes that I'm not. Although there might be the occasional chance for romantic happiness, there are innumerable chances for something far sadder and less fulfilling than being alone.
On GMM, you see page after page of desperate, freaky, unhappy men who fight like seagulls over the occasional normal man who signs up. It feels like a competition rather than a community, with the latest halfway presentable newbie as the weekly prize.
On the blogs, you see page after page of sculpted young hunks being paid varying sums of money to bare their good stuff to any lonely weirdo with an internet connection. If I was one of them, I'm sure I'd think to myself, "I spend two hours at the gym every day and avoid carbs like the plague just so some greasy obese 50 year old can jerk off to my picture?" No wonder so many porn stars get into drugs.
By comparison, at least going to bed alone every night has a degree of dignity.
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