The end of a drought sometimes brings rain and gloom.

I've been feeling a bit down over the last week.

It started when I broke my three month sex drought the weekend before last. I went out on the Friday with a 28 year old travel agent, and there was instant chemistry between us. We kissed goodnight for a full five minutes in my car, and agreed to meet the next night for dinner. This we did, and we ended up back at my place by 9pm, kissing so passionately that my lips were badly chapped the next morning. He spent the night with me, we had breakfast together on Sunday morning, and over lingering kisses we eventually said goodbye.

To be brutally honest, the sex was lousy. He was a little sexually dysfunctional, which made it hard work to keep him erect amd virtually impossible to actually have sex. I eventually managed to blow him to orgasm - something I've never managed before - but other than that it was just stroking, kissing, sucking and caressing.

But he was very good at that. He's a natural cuddler; warm, affectionate and a good kisser. Plus he's sweet and adorably cute, and I genuinely like him.

However Sunday morning was the last I saw of him. Since then he's been busy every night I've suggested we go out again. And as of Friday, he's stopped responding to my texts.

The odd thing is that I had no sense that everything wasn't going well. He admitted that he almost never sleeps with someone on the second date, so I don't think he was just using me. My theory is that sometimes you get caught up in the moment and after a couple of days it dissipates and you think, "Wow, what just happened there? He's actually not what I want."

I was in this mindset when I went out to a concert on Friday with KCG and his boyfriend, and while it wasn't as hard as it sometimes is I still found it confronting. KCG has found someone who is attracted to him and to whom he's also attracted. If that weren't groundbreaking enough, they also appear to be in love.

How is that possible? How can two people not only be mutually attracted to each other, but also have that flower into love?

It must be possible, I guess, otherwise gay marriage wouldn't be such an issue and I wouldn't be tormented by gay couples making cow eyes at each other over cupcakes at the local cafe. But it's never happened to me so it's hard to believe that it really exists. I've never met someone to whom I was attracted who was also attracted to me. It's either me liking him and him rejecting me, or him liking me and me rejecting him, or, most often, mutual apathy.

And yet KCG has had it four times. HD has had it three times. Even my most desperate gay friends have at least one ex. 

In the meantime, I'm tortured by gorgeous guys like this glancing at me on Scruff, then shrugging and moving on.

So beautiful, and in an attainable way. But not for me. Sigh.