Suddenly I'm feelin' it.

Number of days since I went on a date: 346

Number of days since I kissed a guy: 346

Number of days since I had sex: 392

All of these things were so long ago that I don't actually remember the exact times. It's a good thing I wrote them down in my blog.

You what would be an even better thing? If the numbers were a lot smaller.

Batman reveals his true colours

Not so much The Dark Knight as The Pink Queen.

Robin's trying to spin it as "red", but who am I going to believe; him or my own eyes? He's not fooling anyone.

One can only assume that Batman is heading out to save the Gotham Pride Parade from arch-nemesis Heteroman and his evil gang of Breeders.

Yes, I am trying to reassure myself.

Normally when I see a picture of a hot guy on the internet my attraction is tempered with a keen sense of the ridiculous. "Why is that man only wearing the top half of a football uniform?" I find myself wondering, for example. "Did he get distracted halfway through changing? Did the team run out of pants? What gives?"

But occasionally a guy is so stunning that even I'm lost for snark.

He's abundantly blessed in all three aspects of gay attraction. One, he has an absolutely beautiful face. Two, he has a spectacular body. And three, he has a strikingly massive... er... silhouette.

What must it be like, to look this perfect? What must it be like to effortlessly attract the sorts of lovers that normal people like you and me could only dream about?

I imagine that there are downsides. For a start, there'd be absolutely no drive to improve your personality. Adoration would simply flock after you. You'd never need to think, "I should be less judgemental" or "I'm going to try to be more generous", because people would yearn to be with you no matter what you did. Then when your looks finally abandoned you, what would you have left?

It must be terribly corrosive to the soul to be so hot.

I may be pathetic, but at least I have good taste.

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"He's trying to style my hair!"

Gays + Zombies = Gay Zombie

A question we've all asked ourselves

I've always had a thing for this photo, but not for the obvious reason. I just love the expression on this guy's face. I'm pretty sure he's thinking, "Wait... did I leave the iron on?"

Okay, so that's not the only reason why I like this photo...

Grappling with a 13 year age difference

It's been a while between posts, largely because I haven't done anything gay for several weeks... other than buying some new bed linen and listening to The Presets. I've been spending a lot of time with a new gang of straight friends, and with my social life full I really haven't felt desperate enough to wade back into the gay dating scene, with all of its irritations and weirdos and random photos of unattractive penises.

There's one exception. A while ago I mentioned that an unusually appealing guy had emailed me, and I complained that attractive men were annoying because they get one's hopes up.

Since then we've been emailing each other back and forth every few days, comparing interests and cracking jokes. He's a lovely guy, if a little uncultured, and I would go out with him in a second.

But I haven't become carried away with it, because I don't think it's gonna happen, largely because he's too young and I'm too old. At my advanced age (late-30s) sending chatty emails back and forth a dozen times means that you're Definitely Interested. But at his age (mid-20s) sending a dozen emails is just... well... one of those things you do. This is the age group that made Facebook what it is - a place where you can talk every day to people whom you have no intention of ever actually meeting, even if they live on the same street.

He's just gone off for a few weeks on a South American holiday. When he gets back, perhaps I should let him know what I thinking. Chiefly, "I like you, I think you're way cute, and I'm interested in more than just emails. Are we just shooting the breeze here or do you want something more?"

Closely followed by, "Can I have your permission to get you drunk and naked (in the nicest, most respectful way, naturally)."