I've been lucky to have made a lot of close male friends over the years to whom I am not even remotely attracted. There are some others for whom I've had short, transitory attraction, which has calmed down over time and become something more realistic, comfortable and unerotic. I find that if you're patient the yearning dies down and you can get along on a satisfying platonic level. After all, there's no point in sighing over someone who is straight. There's no future in it. It's better to just be friends and save your interest for other gay men.
However there are some guys for whom the attraction just won't stop, no matter how hard you try.
I have a friend. He's single and in his late twenties. He has a good heart and a kind nature, and he smiles so much that he's developed early crows' feet around his eyes. He's cute rather than handsome, but that just means that his inner beauty has more opportunity to make itself visible. He's generous and patient, serious when he needs to be and fun-loving when he doesn't.
He's also as dumb as a bag of hammers, forever being taken advantage of by people who are smarter than him... which is most people. Perhaps because there's so little going on inside his skull, he's compensated by devoting himself to physical acuity. He's superbly fit, with the sort of amazing body that comes from endless training. Shave his chest and he could be one of the boys from the underwear packets.
So, he's a dumb, muscular, sweet-natured hunk... and every time I think I've managed to control my feelings for him I bump into him at a party and I instantly feel like I've been belted over the head with The 4x2 of Lust. I find excuses to touch him in acceptable ways, like a clap on the shoulder or a friendly nudge, and it takes all my will to let go and not let my hands slide down. It also takes me a day or two to get over him every time I see him, which fortunately isn't too often.
If it were just physical, it wouldn't be so bad, but he's such a nice person that I could easily fall in love with him. I could imagine being with him, living together, sharing everything, caring for him and being cared for by him... and then of course retiring to the bedroom for long, long nights of sweaty, wild, wake-up-the-neighbours sex.
But it's not going to happen, because he's as straight as they come. I know him well enough to know that. I'd love it to be otherwise, and I could pretend that it was, but that's the way it is. Yearning for people to be something other than what they are will not make them so, and that's something that everyone, gay or straight, male or female, needs to learn eventually
It's just really, really hard.
(No, that's not him. That's just someone who causes a similar amount of wistful sighing.)
However there are some guys for whom the attraction just won't stop, no matter how hard you try.
I have a friend. He's single and in his late twenties. He has a good heart and a kind nature, and he smiles so much that he's developed early crows' feet around his eyes. He's cute rather than handsome, but that just means that his inner beauty has more opportunity to make itself visible. He's generous and patient, serious when he needs to be and fun-loving when he doesn't.
He's also as dumb as a bag of hammers, forever being taken advantage of by people who are smarter than him... which is most people. Perhaps because there's so little going on inside his skull, he's compensated by devoting himself to physical acuity. He's superbly fit, with the sort of amazing body that comes from endless training. Shave his chest and he could be one of the boys from the underwear packets.
So, he's a dumb, muscular, sweet-natured hunk... and every time I think I've managed to control my feelings for him I bump into him at a party and I instantly feel like I've been belted over the head with The 4x2 of Lust. I find excuses to touch him in acceptable ways, like a clap on the shoulder or a friendly nudge, and it takes all my will to let go and not let my hands slide down. It also takes me a day or two to get over him every time I see him, which fortunately isn't too often.
If it were just physical, it wouldn't be so bad, but he's such a nice person that I could easily fall in love with him. I could imagine being with him, living together, sharing everything, caring for him and being cared for by him... and then of course retiring to the bedroom for long, long nights of sweaty, wild, wake-up-the-neighbours sex.
But it's not going to happen, because he's as straight as they come. I know him well enough to know that. I'd love it to be otherwise, and I could pretend that it was, but that's the way it is. Yearning for people to be something other than what they are will not make them so, and that's something that everyone, gay or straight, male or female, needs to learn eventually
It's just really, really hard.
(No, that's not him. That's just someone who causes a similar amount of wistful sighing.)
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