When good men make bad choices

Dear Mr Second From The Left,

Congratulations! You seem to have done very well for yourself, both in the genetic lottery and in the discipline to stick to a training regime. Your body is stunning; a work of homoerotic art. You could bounce a cannon ball off that stomach, and those arms look like they could bench press a Toyota. Even in a crowd of very hot men, the least of whom (Mr Plaid Shorts, I'm looking at you) would set gay hearts aflutter, you stand out as the hottest. You deserve all the attention that you no doubt get.

And yet I must point out that you are letting yourself down in your choice of clothing. There's nothing actually wrong with your dark blue board shorts, but they're not doing you any favours. By way of contrast, imagine what would happen if you stepped out in a pair of these:

Let's just say that you wouldn't have to travel to the beach any more. You could just go to a random patch of sand and swim in all the drool from any women and gay men in the general vicinity.

And if you think swimming in drool is gross... well, it is, but it's hardly the grossest thing gays have dreamt up to do with their bodily fluids.

Yours (I wish)

GTR

Re: Statement of Intent

Why am I starting this blog?

I dunno. I'm in my mid-30s, male, gay and in the closet - way, way back in the closet, so far back that it's snowing and there's a lamp post and I'm rappin' with Mr Tumnus. He says hey. It's quite nice here (Tumnus has a Playstation - woot!) and I'm in no hurry to step out. However, as I get older I feel the need to know more about what being gay means and what it's like for other people.

Before I made my first tentative steps outside my closet, I only knew a couple of gay men on the periphery of my social circle... and they were creeps. The only other gay men I knew were the obligatory gay characters on every groovy sitcom or drama show on TV, and I was beginning to suspect that they weren't really very accurate. Were all gay men really that straight-acting, good-looking and unsleazy?

So I set out to do some research. It turns out that the masculine, admirable sitcom gay from 2007 is about as realistic as the shrieking, feather boa'd sitcom gay from 1977. Thus the average person today is no better informed about what it really means to be gay than he was 30 years ago. All he's getting is the opposite extreme of PR.

But more of that in future entries.

On a lighter note, this blog is also a way for me to chronicle my adventures in that well-spring of unintentional humour, gaymatchmaker.com.au. There's nothing like horniness, desperation, poor communication skills and deep, deep vacuity for a really good laugh.