Dear Mr Second From The Left,
Congratulations! You seem to have done very well for yourself, both in the genetic lottery and in the discipline to stick to a training regime. Your body is stunning; a work of homoerotic art. You could bounce a cannon ball off that stomach, and those arms look like they could bench press a Toyota. Even in a crowd of very hot men, the least of whom (Mr Plaid Shorts, I'm looking at you) would set gay hearts aflutter, you stand out as the hottest. You deserve all the attention that you no doubt get.
And yet I must point out that you are letting yourself down in your choice of clothing. There's nothing actually wrong with your dark blue board shorts, but they're not doing you any favours. By way of contrast, imagine what would happen if you stepped out in a pair of these:
Let's just say that you wouldn't have to travel to the beach any more. You could just go to a random patch of sand and swim in all the drool from any women and gay men in the general vicinity.
And if you think swimming in drool is gross... well, it is, but it's hardly the grossest thing gays have dreamt up to do with their bodily fluids.
Yours (I wish)
GTR
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