Frequently Asinine Questions

As part of an eventual coming out strategy, I've created a FAQ about being gay which attempts to answer most of the questions that people will have. The plan is to put it online and then refer people to it, so that I don't have to keep explaining the same things over and over again. The questions I've anticipated range from the salient, like, "How long have you known you were gay?" to the dumbass, like "Have you tried not being gay?".

But after I discussed the concept with another closeted friend, he suggested a whole bunch of other questions that I hadn't anticipated but which he has heard. Questions like, "Does this mean you want to be a woman?" and "So you like little boys, then?"

These questions are imbecilic, to put it mildly. And yet they demonstrate the vast gulf that separates some heterosexuals from homosexuals. Homosexuality is so bafflingly contrary to the core drives of many heterosexuals, and so unnecessary for them to research as part of their ordinary lives, that they harbour beliefs and opinions about it that are stunningly ignorant.

For example, the idea that transexuality, paedophilia and homosexuality are linked in many people's minds demonstrates that they lump any sexual behaviour separate from the heterosexual norm in a single category: that of "Being A Pervert". In this mindset, being sexually attracted to men, wanting to be a woman and molesting little boys are all different manifestations of the same abberent thing. And because they never have to deal with it themselves (unless a close friend or family member comes out), they are never challenged on their assumptions.

On the other side of the equation, it's also easy for me to forget that I've been traveling down a certain path for the last few years, and not only have my friends and family not joined me on that path, but they're scarcely aware that the path even exists. In extreme cases, coming out to them would be like lobbing an eight year old who'd never been to school into the third grade and expecting him to suddenly understand arithmatic, spelling and state capitals.